Change Your Friends - Change Your Life


Many years ago when my husband and I fostered troubled teens I would tell them “If you really want to change your life you have to let go of people who hold you back and make new friends.” It’s very difficult to change your life - from deciding to be a non-smoker or drug/alcohol free, to stopping negative thoughts or gossip and becoming a person who lives their dreams if you associate with people who embody the behaviors you desire to change. You cannot straddle the fence, one foot on the side of the life you desire and the other foot on the side of old behaviors and expect change to happen. I’ve heard it said that you are like the compilation of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. Who do you spend your time with? Do they have behaviors and characteristics that you admire? Do you like what they model and have to teach you? Do you feel good when you are around them? Do they encourage you to be your best and to go after your dreams? If the answer to these questions is YES! - you are hanging around with the right people, and if it’s no, you may choose to release these people from your life and find new friends.

The fear of letting go of people may be the biggest thing that keeps us stuck in old patterns and an old way of life. Letting go of friendships and even family members or partners who do not serve our highest good can feel scary as well as bring up feelings of sadness, guilt and shame. It can also bring up the fear “If I let go of this person, maybe I’ll be alone, so even if s/he is not good for me, I’d better hang on to them.” Many of us have been taught things like: don’t rock the boat, forgive and forget and to accept the faults of others at the expense of our own life and our dreams. How can we leave others behind when we have such things as Oh, so you think you’re better than us, blood is thicker than water, and Don’t make waves running through our cells and minds? We have been taught on a deep, cellular level that our duty is to stand by our family and not expose its dysfunctions, after all don’t we need their acceptance?

When we wake up, see the truth and begin to desire a different life, do we have the right to claim it? It is important to remember that when choosing to do what is right for you, your intention is to make your life better and to live your dreams, not to harm anyone. As you make choices to raise your vibrational energy you are also being a model for others so that, if they choose, they can step onto the path with you. You are not leaving anyone behind, but offering him or her an opportunity to grow with you. If they do not wish to grow and want to remain where they are they may try to make you feel foolish, guilty or ashamed so that you will give up your path and your dream to return back to them. This is why when you hang out with people who support your addiction, whether it be physical such as smoking, drinking or overeating or emotional such as depression, criticism, cynicism or other form of negative thinking, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible to move beyond the addiction.

Your vibrational energy resonates and equalizes to the friends you keep so look at your life, look where you want to be and ask yourself, “Do my friends, family, co-workers and community support my moving in that direction and attaining my goal?”

To find the courage to release relationships that are unfulfilling or negative influences